Army Wife, also known as Super Wife

For those who don't know, my husband is in the Army. So like most Army/military wives, I have to do a lot of double duty when he is not home. Being an Army Brat means I am even more adept at some of these things than the average wife, because I grew up doing extra chores as the oldest. Recently I had to travel to Ft. Jackson, SC for the culmination of some training my husband had to go through. Since he has been gone, I have had quite a few well-meaning (?) comments and suggestions at how to take care of things.

I realize that not everyone knows how to do some of the things I can do, but I can't help but be annoyed. Some of the comments were from men who reminded me that their mom/wife/girlfriend/sister/daughter doesn't know how to check oil/put air in her tires/mow the lawn, etc. But sadly quite a few of the comments were from women who told me "I couldn't do it alone" when they realize I am alone with the kids. I told them that they could if they had to, but I had to wonder about some of them. I actually met several women on base who told me how they moved in with their parents or in-laws when their husband had to go train. I'm sorry; I just don't get it. I have four kids and I'll be damned if I move to someone else's house every time my husband has to leave town.

Some of the gems:

"What are you going to do with the kids while you're driving?".
What I wanted to say: "I am going to tie them to the roof for the entire seven hour trip".
What I actually said: "What do you mean?" Which usually seemed to make the person backpedal.

"Are you going to take the kids with you?"
This one bothered me because the person who was asking usually knew that the kids haven't seen their dad since FEBRUARY. Why on God's green earth would I NOT take the kids and go alone?
My response: "Why wouldn't I take them? I think Hubby wants to see them too".

I was pouring oil and windshield wiper fluid in my vehicle and mail man walks up asking me "do you know what you are doing?"
What I wanted to say: "Nope. I just thought I would pour all of these into random holes and see what happens."
What I actually said: "Well, it would be kind of silly for me to mess up seeing as how the caps have LABELS saying 'oil' and 'wiper fluid'."

And the coup de grâce of silly questions:
"Do you know how to get to South Carolina?" This was asked the NIGHT BEFORE I left by Hubby's friend who calls to check on me from time to time while Hubby is gone.

My answer: "No, I was going to get on the I-10 and ride until I saw a sign saying South Carolina". (For the geographically challenged: South Carolina is nowhere near I-10 which runs east and west. If you keep following it you eventually run into either the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Florida or the Pacific Ocean off the coast of California).

**Yes, my actual answers and "wanted to say" answers are not very far apart....but I have picked up quite a bit of smartass-ishness since being married to Hubby...the original smartass.