Potty Wars Part Deux

My child rearing philosophy has its roots in one simple concept. You are raising children to become adults. So think about what you do because otherwise they will end up on a therapist's couch one day and you'll end up getting an angry letter about how you screwed them up. Yeah this may happen no matter what, but I would like to minimize that as much as possible.

So, keeping that in mind, I have resisted this thing.

It's a musical potty seat. Great concept but I have had this (probably paranoid) idea, that teaching a child that they will get music and applause when they potty is setting the stage for a problem later. I also don't talk baby talk to my kids for the same reason. There is no pre-determined age to stop. So we end up with people who still use baby talk to their kids when they are seven.

Well after my two year old showed almost no interest in using the potty, I buckled when she flipped out in Wal-Mart for this thing. I figured if nothing else, I have a seven month old who may need a potty seat later.

I need not have worried. As soon as we got home, two year old BEGGED to use it. I took it out of the box, placed it on the floor and she promptly peed. She loved the music and went three or four more times that day. The downside: she wants to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes. Somewhere in there I have other things to do, like you know...eat, feed the baby...

Army Wife, also known as Super Wife

For those who don't know, my husband is in the Army. So like most Army/military wives, I have to do a lot of double duty when he is not home. Being an Army Brat means I am even more adept at some of these things than the average wife, because I grew up doing extra chores as the oldest. Recently I had to travel to Ft. Jackson, SC for the culmination of some training my husband had to go through. Since he has been gone, I have had quite a few well-meaning (?) comments and suggestions at how to take care of things.

I realize that not everyone knows how to do some of the things I can do, but I can't help but be annoyed. Some of the comments were from men who reminded me that their mom/wife/girlfriend/sister/daughter doesn't know how to check oil/put air in her tires/mow the lawn, etc. But sadly quite a few of the comments were from women who told me "I couldn't do it alone" when they realize I am alone with the kids. I told them that they could if they had to, but I had to wonder about some of them. I actually met several women on base who told me how they moved in with their parents or in-laws when their husband had to go train. I'm sorry; I just don't get it. I have four kids and I'll be damned if I move to someone else's house every time my husband has to leave town.

Some of the gems:

"What are you going to do with the kids while you're driving?".
What I wanted to say: "I am going to tie them to the roof for the entire seven hour trip".
What I actually said: "What do you mean?" Which usually seemed to make the person backpedal.

"Are you going to take the kids with you?"
This one bothered me because the person who was asking usually knew that the kids haven't seen their dad since FEBRUARY. Why on God's green earth would I NOT take the kids and go alone?
My response: "Why wouldn't I take them? I think Hubby wants to see them too".

I was pouring oil and windshield wiper fluid in my vehicle and mail man walks up asking me "do you know what you are doing?"
What I wanted to say: "Nope. I just thought I would pour all of these into random holes and see what happens."
What I actually said: "Well, it would be kind of silly for me to mess up seeing as how the caps have LABELS saying 'oil' and 'wiper fluid'."

And the coup de grâce of silly questions:
"Do you know how to get to South Carolina?" This was asked the NIGHT BEFORE I left by Hubby's friend who calls to check on me from time to time while Hubby is gone.

My answer: "No, I was going to get on the I-10 and ride until I saw a sign saying South Carolina". (For the geographically challenged: South Carolina is nowhere near I-10 which runs east and west. If you keep following it you eventually run into either the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Florida or the Pacific Ocean off the coast of California).

**Yes, my actual answers and "wanted to say" answers are not very far apart....but I have picked up quite a bit of smartass-ishness since being married to Hubby...the original smartass.

Late Night TV

I watch a lot of TV. Scratch that, my TV is on a lot. I was a latchkey kid as a child and the TV was comforting to me. Without it I heard every squirrel on the roof, bird in the yard and car driving by and would run into my hiding spot with the phone ready to dial 911. I also sleep with the TV on for partially the same reason. (The other part is because my great-grandmother who raised me slept with the TV on and I can't sleep when its too quiet.)


In spite of all the TV I watch, I am still amazed at some of the stuff I see on late at night. Enter the show "Eye for an Eye". This was not the worst judge show I have seen, but it was pretty bad. First of all, when the bailiff (who is named Big Sugar Ray - SMH), calls the court to order, he YELLS and throws his hands in the air like a heavyweight champion. Then the crowd (yes, crowd not the gallery or spectators...), stands and yells "Extreme Akim" over and over again. Think Jerry Springer and you have the idea. (I will not comment too much on the voices not matching the people's lips...).

The first case was a guy who forged a doctor's signature on some prescription pads to get drugs so he could get high. High being the keyword here, because after he was found "guilty", Extreme Akim, ordered the defendant hoisted into the air telling him "you want to get high, now you are high". He let the guy swing long enough to ask him "are you going to get high again?" The guy of course said no and then he let him down to be "arrested". Maybe I am missing something. Is this all it takes for someone who is addicted to drugs to kick the habit? Humiliation? I guess drug courts missed this approach.

I could go on but I actually found myself getting irritated at the show. Why? Because in my opinion shows like this make it easy for people to think its okay to act an ass in a courtroom. I taught at a university for a bit and of the questions I got repeatedly from students was "are those judge shows real?" and "are those actual licensed attorneys on those shows?". The students seemed to feel that the silliness and comedic issues on the shows either meant the show wasn't real or judges really behave that way. Sadly I had to admit that they are licensed attorneys. This was an undergraduate college course and the fact that they questioned the reality of says a lot. I thought for years I was being a legal snob in thinking that that some (if not most or all) of these shows were stupid. Now, I see that they are possibly giving the average person more fodder for lawyer jokes.

Topic #2 on "I should write about this more in depth"...: How do judges shows affect the effectiveness of our judicial system?